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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What It Means to Have a Family


This past week has really caused me to reflect on family…What is a family? The conventional answer is mom, dad, and kids, right? Well, what about when your parents are dead or worse yet, they’re alive, but simply don’t care about you? Or maybe your dad doesn’t even know you exist and you’ve never even met him and don’t even know his name. This is the case for a lot of kids here…and it’s tough. There are some kids who are fortunate enough to still have a parent in their lives who truly does care about them but for extenuating circumstances (often economic ones) can’t take care of their kids. However, sadly, that’s the exception. Many many of our kids have lost their parents. For some kids, it was a disease or sickness that took their parents away and changed their lives forever. For other kids, they’ve never known their parents…they were abandoned at a hospital, their parents up and left and they were stuck with neighbors or taken in by nuns. And yet for other kids, they have purposely separated themselves from their family…they’ve ran away from home, they've done whatever it takes to escape abusive situations. There are some really sad stories here and after nearly 9 months, I’m really starting to hear them. Since I work in the sponsorship department, it’s not uncommon that a kid comes in and asks for some pertinent information about their past (we have little write-ups on each child)…What was my mom’s name? How did she die? When’s my birthday? I wish I had the answers to their questions…

Besides sponsorship, the other half of my job is communications, which oftentimes means photos…taking photos, organizing the photos we have, and more than anything, searching previous photos to fulfill photo requests. Anyways, this past week, 40-some CDs of photos from our early days (2005-2006) resurfaced with one of our older girls: photos that we didn’t even know existed/had considered lost forever. So we started spending a couple hours each day going through them on my computer. Before we knew it, we’d be sitting in the park with a swarm of 20 kids all watching and laughing as they saw themselves 6 and 7 years ago. We literally went over thousands and thousands of photos. Out of all of them, the photos that most struck me were the family photos. These were either photos of the family at their previous residence before coming here (sometimes even including a parent!) or photos taken at Visitor Days here. And we found some true treasures! I found a photo of one of my oldest girls and her mom who has since passed away…the only photo she has ever seen of them together. I found another photo of one of my girls and her dad who has since disappeared from her life. Can you imagine how much these 1 photos mean to these girls? I feel like we are so used to photos being a part of our lives…our moms scrapbook, our phones have cameras, etc. etc. For many of us, our entire lives from the moment we were born in the hospital are documented with photos. That’s just not the case here. Photos, esp. photos from when these kids were younger, are gold. 

Cristela
Ditania
Erika C
Erika D
Josi
Lucy
On the flip side, as we’re going over these photos, can you picture the other 15+ kids just hoping that a photo of them with a parent or loved one would appear? For a lot of these kids, they will never have a photo with their mom or dad. If they have any image at all of their parents, it’s the one they carry with them in their head.

I say all this not to make anyone feel sorry for the kids here. They are extremely EXTREMELY blessed. But it’s the reality of life here and sometimes it’s easy to forget.  Sometimes it’s easy to keep pushing ahead, esp. as volunteers, without recognizing that this job/life here is intense, it’s painful at times, it’s duro. These kids have become my family now and to realize the heartache that some of them face on a daily basis makes MY heart ache.

However, as I just mentioned, WE are a family here. That was Padre Wasson’s philosophy when he started NPH in Mexico back in 1954 and that continues to be the case to this day.  It’s not uncommon to hear a kid here referring to one of their housemates as their brother or sister; some of them have known and lived with each other since they were babies. Plus lots of our kids have siblings here with them.

On that note, we have a really special project that we do here as volunteers called Proyecto Familiar (I’ve mentioned this before in other blogs). More or less, once a month, each volunteer is assigned a family of siblings and together, we make supper. It’s simple, it’s fun, and it’s about being together. Some siblings here are very close, but there are others that you rarely see together and as you can imagine, when you live within 4 walls with 250+ other people, there’s not often time to be alone as a family and not surrounded by others.

This past Sunday, I did two different Proyecto Familiares. First off, we had Franchesca (one of my girls) and her younger twin sisters, Fernanda and Katery. I knew this one would be a walk in the park, because these siblings are super close and Franchesca is very responsible. Franchesca planned it all and we ended up making ensalada de coditos (pasta salad, Dominican-style) in the way her mom taught her years ago. We had a great time!






My other Proyecto Familiar took on a different form. Belkis, one of my girls, is from the nearby batey. She and her brother, Fausto, came here to NPH back in 2005 after their mom passed away, but they still have older siblings who live in the batey. So Belkis wanted to go visit! Fausto, on the other hand, was a lot more hesitant. At ages 13 and 15, Belkis and Fausto don’t exactly choose to spend time together if given the option (to put it nicely). After a little bit of procrastinating on Fausto's part, we all three were ready to go and off we went walking on the gravel road. It wasn’t long before we arrived and ran into their older sister and nephews; in no time at all, Belkis and Fausto were playing with their nephews as if they were little kids themselves again. I had the opportunity to sit in the shade under the cherry tree and chat with the older sister about life…from things like the mom’s death and what it’s like to be a mother of three at age 24 to things like the best type of hair extensions and jewelry. I was also in the house where Belkis and Fausto were prior to coming to NPH, which was cool to experience. Anyways, a couple hours later, it was time to start the walk back although neither of them was ready to leave yet. On the way back, we chopped down some sugar cane and then got soaking wet when the sky opened up and it started pouring! The afternoon went better than I could ever have imagined! 

Heading to the batey!
Sugar cane hunting!
Me and Belkis!
We were soaking wet!
Belkis and Fausto when they were little!
Back on the "What It Means to Have a Family" note, another thing I’ve noticed here is that the kids (esp. the older girls) love to cut out photos from magazines and paste them in their notebooks or hang them up on the walls in their bedrooms. Do you know what lots of the photos are (besides the Taylor Lautner and Justin Bieber pics)? Families. Mom, dad, and kids. They are photos of complete strangers, but it’s the concept that so many of the kids here, from the youngest to the oldest, admire and aspire to achieve.

Overall, I feel like I’m realizing that the definition of family is much bigger than what I once thought it was. Throughout the first half of my time here, I’ve certainly grown a greater appreciation for the family I have, both in Minnesota and here. But at the same time, I realize that nothing can truly take the place of a mom and dad in your life. A family, including relatives, is certainly not something to take for granted despite the dysfunctional-ness we sometimes tend to focus on. 

Well, I’m not exactly sure how to end this post... there’s still so many thoughts floating through my mind. I guess just imagine if you had lost your parents (either to death or other causes) and you had ONE photo together…how much would that mean to you?



Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Las Galeras...Can you say paradise?



First off, I have to say: September is HOT. Like oh my gosh…the heat is unbearable. Life experience has taught me that things usually start to cool down in September, right? It’s fall and what not. Well, apparently I forgot that there is one season in this country=summer. It’s been hitting mid to upper 90’s and feeling like well over 100 in the sun. It’s stifling, like 3 showers/day stifling and you still sweat constantly. And obviously, air conditioning is nonexistent here and even using a fan (if you’re lucky enough to have one) is only sometimes an option, because there’s only electricity 12ish hours/day and that’s mainly during the night, when Thank God, it does actually cool down a bit. So yes, who would have thunk that September is the hottest month of the year? Not me.

In other news, I’m just coming off a 3-day weekend off and it was FANTASTIC. Madelon and I decided to be spontaneous, pick a new spot to visit, and just go without any plans of where to stay or what to do. So we left at 4:00pm on Thursday and by about 8:00pm, ended up in Samana, which turns out to be a pretty nice city, right on the ocean and what not. We ended up running into the mayor on the guagua up, so he suggested and made sure we got to a good hotel/hostal for the night. And guess what? We had a room with cable TV, wifi, and AC(!) for 800 pesos, i.e. $10 each. What a steal! We got some dinner there and headed to bed (only down side of said hotel: the LOUD motos going by all night and a rather noisy dog fight at one point).

We woke up on Friday morning, spent a little time exploring Samana and the malecón (road along the ocean) and randomly decided to take what essentially is a moto-carriage to Las Galeras, our destination. So boom, we grab our stuff and we’re in this little moto-carriage going through the mountains for about an hour ride and always within view of the ocean. GORGEOUS. We saw so much of the countryside and even though we weren’t THAT far away, the countryside was just so different than it is here.
Moto-carriage complete with its own radio i.e. the choffer.
One of the 'scenic stops' on the way...this is where the whales come every spring.
So we make it to Las Galeras, find a good hotel, and grab a margarita. Before long, we’re at the beach (La Playita) and we spent the afternoon there soaking up the sun. That evening, we went to an AMAZING restaurant literally literally literally located on a cliff. It took about 20 minutes to get there on a “dirt road” (I use that term loosely because only to the trained Dominican eye would it come off as a road…to the rest, maybe just a rocky path that you wouldn’t willingly venture down). However, it was WORTH it. The view was INSANE, like unreal. And I ate octopus :)
There was an AMAZING sunset.
Me and Madelon!
This is the restaurant...definitely on a cliff. And next time I want to make the jump :)
Saturday was another beach day. We started off the day at a little French café (can you say chocolate croissants!?!) where we ran into a group of about 6 surfing instructors mainly from California. They said they were renting a boat to go to Playa Fronton, a more remote but supposedly amazing beach, and invited us along. So we said ‘Sure, why not?’ And a half hour later we were in a boat out in the ocean blue scaling along the huge cliffs and seeing some amazing waves. We arrived to literally a paradise. We were the only ones at this beach and contrary to all the other beaches I’ve been to in this country, it wasn’t a ‘touristy’ beach. There were no shops, vendors, garbage cans, nothing…just beach. AWESOME. And I’m not kidding, it was the bluest, clearest, water I’ve ever seen. So we spent the day there just relaxing. I did a little excursion going up the cliff a little ways where there is this crazy abandoned house. And we went into a couple caves too complete with stalactites and bats. Pretty cool. That night, Madelon and I went out for pizza and then did some dancing. We both decided that people in Las Galeras definitely are better dancers than here...it was a lot of fun!


On the boat headed to Playa Fronton!
The gorgeous cliffs...
Our boat...
The BEACH!
More beach...
The abandoned house...
View from a little higher up the cliffs...
There were some HUGE waves rolling in...
Going for a walk...
Going for a dip...the water was SO warm!
Heading back...
Me and Madelon at Playa Madama! Part of Survivor was taped here I guess...
Climbing up the cliffs to the caves with our guide...
Checking out the caves...
Notice the two people on top...these are BIG cliffs we are talking about...
SUCH clear water!
Chillaxing :)
Sunday morning we packed up and took a couple busses pack to NPH, completely refreshed and ready for the next couple weeks with the kids. We definitely plan to go back in January when there is whale-watching! And guess what else? Nelly is back!! YAY! She was in Spain for a month and just arrived Sunday night…I’m so happy. So the house is a little fuller again and we’re ready to battle through the heat of September and just keep doing what we’re doing and living this life to the max. 

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

PURE Awesomeness.

It's definitely rainy season!
 That is pretty much how I would describe life here at the moment. Every day lately has just been so much fun. These kids mean so much to me and I'm just constantly enjoying being completely immersed in this life style. Here are a few moments of awesomeness that were particularly awesome:

1. DANCE PARTY IN THE RAIN!! Oh yes, this past Sunday, music in the park took a turn for the awesome. Per normal, we got out the huge speakers around 4:00 and set up in the park. Boom, the clouds roll in and it starts to rain. Rather than putting an end to it all, we move the speakers to the terraza of Casa Santa Rosa and things got crazy. Before long, all of us from the voluteers to the littlest kids to the oldest kids are outside on the street in the pouring rain dancing away...dembow, bachata, it didn't even matter. We were just having a blast as we splashed around in the puddles on the street and the basketball court. Hands down, one of my top 3 moments here. 

2. English lessons. Per request, I've started up English lessons with a couple of the older girls and it's going great! We whip out the white board and markers on Monday and Wednesday afternoons, plop down at a table in the park, and we are off. So far some favorite choice words: gross, gorgeous, and seriously. 

3. Italian godparent visit! On Saturday, two Italian couples came to visit two of our girls. One of them also happened to be an orthopedic doctor, so he was nice enough to plunker down at the clinic for an hour or two and see six of our kids. We spent the rest of our time walking around the grounds and hanging out in Casa Santa Ana, Casa Santa Lucia, and the special needs house. I just love godparent visits--the kids get so excited about it and you meet a lot of amazing people!

4. San Pedro with the girls. I took Estrella and Carmencita to San Pedro last Tuesday. It's always fun taking my girls into town...they really enjoy it and it's a great time to bond on a more personal level. Three of my girls are having their Quinceanyeras this coming November so that seems to occupy about 99% of our conversations these days :) 

5. Julio Franco visits NPH and I got to meet him. Why did he visit? Well, Madelon ran into him randomly at McDonalds and invited him over. LOVE that about the DR.
_________________________________________________________________
Now a look a couple slightly less awesome aspects of life...

1. Internet has been non-existent at NPH since Hurricane Isaac (currently sitting at McDonalds...)

2. I got bit by a spider. I thought I could handle it on my own. I was wrong. A week later it was swollen, red, and looking more like a nasty 3rd degree burn. I gave in and went to the doctor. I also figured out...

3. I have lice. GROSS. I'm having second grade flashbacks. But I guess that's just one of the 'perks' of living with 215 kids 24/7. Whatever, I'll survive.


That's all for now...gotta take advantage of the Internet working and get some other things done. Hope the school year is off to a great start for everyone!

Italian godparent visit! Esperanza and Stefani were the lucky ahijadas!
Newest additions to our school...Yerald and his younger brother, Wanel. They like to hang out in my office with me and are super awesome!
Four of our oldest kids receiving gifts from their godparents: Jesel, Jean Carlos, Wislina, and Yendy.
Maria! One of our newest cancer kids in Santa Maria. WHAT. A. CUTIE.